Question of the Week: Can You Biblically Forgive Someone Without Telling Them or Seeing Them Again?
Christians take the matter of forgiveness seriously for good reason. Scripturally the topic of forgiving is modeled for us like everything else is.
Jesus forgave us when we we’re unforgivable. (Romans 5:6-11/Ephesians 2:1-5)
Jesus told us to seek out restoration with people who have anything against as a higher priority than offerings before God. (Matthew 5:23-24)
Jesus even stated that the forgiveness we will be shown is directly proportional to the forgiveness we show to others. (Matthew 6:14-15)
While these commands are fairly straight forward and model for us a perfect life lived out, it’s always easier to know the right thing to do until it’s our turn to live it out. Every Christian needs to learn and re-learn that apart from Jesus living out His nature through us, even the most fundamental act of righteousness is impossible.
“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.
John 15:1-8 (NKJV)
God’s desire is for us to forgive like He has forgiven us. Making His desires our own is the emphasis Jesus is making that will naturally be given to us. The fruit He desires from our lives is to model His character. (Galatians 5:22-23) This is where the ability to forgive the way God has forgiven us comes from. If we can establish the source, then execution of something we have properly understood and received will just come naturally.
Now that we’ve properly understood where forgiveness comes from, the question remains what it is and how to make sure it’s done right. The biblical definition of forgiveness is;
“The alleviation of wrath towards actual wrongs.”
“bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”
Colossians 3:13 (NKJV)
The first key to understanding biblical forgiveness, (apart from how it’s made possible for us in the first place) is that it’s something that takes place in our hearts before it manifests towards other people. This is the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.
If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
Romans 12:18-19 (NKJV)
To forgive in a biblical sense is to recognize and regard someone and their actions towards you in light of and through the finished work of Jesus Christ. This does not require you to ever see that person again. To reconcile is to meet with someone face to face and restore the relationship directly. That isn’t always possible, and therefore isn’t always commanded. Someone who has forgiven someone will always be willing to reconcile. Someone who isn’t willing to reconcile hasn’t yet forgiven them. Forgiveness from the heart of God is impossible without first receiving reconciliation with God.
A Reason For Hope is a ministry of Calvary Christian Fellowship of Tucson
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