Question of the Week: There are people who look at the practice of polygamy in the Old Testament and conclude that God approved of those marriages. What is God’s heart about the subject of marriage?

The argument that God approves of anything is going to require at least one of three proofs within scripture.
1. A positive example of that practice taking place.
2. A direct affirmation of said practice in context.
3. The practice modeled or taught by Jesus of Nazareth to His Apostles.
Example: God approves of slavery.
By this standard, we first look to every example of slavery taking place in scripture and find it is only considered a positive when you make yourself a slave by choice. The term “bondservant” is defined in Exodus and continues to be used all the way into the New Testament. All other instances of slavery in the Old Testament were either historical facts that were acknowledged but not approved of. (Israel’s Slavery in Egypt in Exodus 1-2) This title of bondservant also served as a foreshadowing of the Messiah through the piercing of the servants ear on the wood of the household’s door to commit them to serving that family for life. Slavery in all other contexts is strictly defined in Exodus 21:1-11. Anything beyond this would be considered sinful. This is the only kind of bondservant status that is affirmed as a good thing when Paul, James, and Jude referred to themselves as bondservants of Jesus Christ. Since the context of this statement was in a spiritual sense, it isn’t giving a command that Christians should own slaves or support slavery. It defines slavery in a positive sense. It gives examples of how the practice was modeled negatively in the Old Testament, and positively in the New. And finally, it concludes the matter with the ultimate purpose of this practice to foreshadow the character of Jesus Christ and His commitment to us. Any form of slavery beyond this would be condemned in Christianity regardless of whether or not it was practiced at some point in Biblical history. Documentation isn’t affirmation. With this standard for interpretation set, let’s apply the same to polygamy.

Is there a single positive example of Polygamy taking place in scripture?
No.

Without exception, every single individual who practiced polygamy in the Old Testament brought conflict, heartache, and even obstacles between them and their relationship with God as a result. The most prominent example is King Solomon.

But King Solomon loved many foreign women, as well as the daughter of Pharaoh: women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites— from the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, “You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods.” Solomon clung to these in love. And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart. For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David.
1 Kings 11:1-5 (NKJV)

As a direct result of his neglect of the command given to kings in Deuteronomy 17:14-20, Solomon was required to write his own copy of the Law of Moses. This included the command not to multiply wives, wealth, or war-horses for themselves. He disobeyed all three of these commands as a negative example to the entire nation of Israel. If God’s paragon for His nation was warned against multiplying wives, then it would also be true for individuals living according to God’s standards within that nation.

Is there a direct affirmation of Polygamy, in context, within scripture?
No.

Every single instance of Polygamy in scripture is simply recorded as a fact. An event taking place in scripture by no means suggests that God approves of it. Otherwise, we would have to be consistent with that standard and end up affirming other actions that are obviously condemned by God. The perfect example of this is King David. His life is recorded for us with an unblinking eye. He got things right at times, but other times he didn’t. When he married his first wife Michal, that was simply stated as a fact. When she was taken away from him and divorced against her will by their father-in-law Saul, that was also simply stated as an event that took place. When he married Abigail, this is neither approved nor condemned. When he finally received the throne of Israel and took Michal back as wife against her will, this is simply recorded. When he committed adultery with Bathsheba, murdered her husband, and married her in addition to Michal and Abigail, this is a fact that is acknowledged about his life. If the marriage of multiple women is somehow approved of because it was recorded as an event in David’s life, then you also end up justifying murder, adultery, and deception by the same logic. Satan’s words are recorded in scripture. That in no way means they were approved of and supported as commands by God that we are to obey.

Was Polygamy modeled or taught by Jesus of Nazareth to His Apostles?
No.

Since Jesus was never married, the only example that could be passed on to His followers was in His teachings. The only teaching He ever gave about the concept of marriage was when He was questioned about divorce.

And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Matthew 19:4-6 (NKJV)

Jesus quotes Genesis 2:24 to define marriage in any context. This is exactly what Paul the Apostle not only quoted himself in Ephesians 5:31 when clarifying the fulfillment and overall purpose of marriage, but also the standard directly applied to his life as well as by all of the Apostles.

Do we have no right to take along a believing wife, as do also the other apostles, the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas?
1 Corinthians 9:5 (NKJV)

Notice that Paul, Peter, Jude, and James never took Jesus’ affirmation of the Old Testament as their green light to pursue polygamy. Notice that those who were married among the Apostles only had a believing wife, rather than wives. If Jesus went to Genesis and made Adam and Eve the standard for marriage going forward, then any deviation from that standard is sin.

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
Genesis 2:24/Matthew 19:5/Ephesians 5:31 (NKJV)

A Reason For Hope is a ministry of Calvary Christian Fellowship of Tucson

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Question of the Week: If someone gets divorced, will they lose God’s favor?

Divorce is something God hates. He had a plan for marriage to be a picture of our relationship with Him, and any severance and separation that takes place in that covenant ruins the whole picture. That being said, it needs to be understood why divorce is permitted but never encouraged in scripture. There are three biblical grounds for divorce in scripture:

They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:7-9

But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
1 Corinthians 7:12-15

And this is the second thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying; so He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”
Malachi 2:13-16

The four extreme circumstances where divorce is permitted as a last resort for the spiritual (and sometimes physical) survival of both parties are; sexual immorality, abandonment, and abuse. That being said, it isn’t right to say that the moment these things take place, it should automatically result in seeking out a divorce. Reconciliation and repentance can be demonstrated and restore the relationship if the offended and offender are able to show the character of God in this capacity. It’s like an amputation. It should only be an option when all others have been exhausted. People who use divorce as a means to resolve conflict, manipulate, or seek out other relationships are sinning.

This is what brings us to the foundation of the question. If someone sins (gets divorced for unbiblical reasons), will they lose God’s favor? The answer is another question. What do you mean by God’s favor? If you’re referring to salvation, the answer is no. The only sin God can’t forgive is refusing to be forgiven. If you’re referring to the joy and peace God wants you to have as a result of an abiding relationship with Him, then yes. People who are unapologetically living in sin are done the greatest favor by God when He removes His peace from them. He’s not going to affirm us in our rejection of His standards. He will remove His peace from us in order to call us back to where that peace came from relationally. If you’re in a place where you have gotten a divorce and it’s too late to pursue reconciliation, it’s still not too late to come back to God for mercy and forgiveness. If you are the offended party in this ungodly demonstration of divorce and have done everything in your power to pursue counseling and reconciliation, then your conscience is clear in this matter. Just be certain not to confuse the peace and favor of God with your relationship with God as a whole. If God didn’t correct us when we sin in any capacity, that is when we really ought to be concerned.

And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.” If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.
Hebrews 12:5-8

A Reason For Hope is a ministry of Calvary Christian Fellowship of Tucson

Listen: Monday – Friday 5-6pm, on 106.3FM Reach Radio

Email your questions:

[email protected]

Follow Twitter: @ScottR4HFollow on CCF Facebook: facebook.com/ccftucson
Watch our Frequently Asked Questions on YouTube.